Foie gras for all!

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According to a new study released today by the journal Euromed (Volume 1:3, April 1, 2008, pp 13-26), the so-called “French paradox” can be applied to other populations successfully. In an eight year, double-blind, randomized controlled trial, Americans from two major urban areas were fed either their usual diet, or a typical French diet, including, but not limited to, wine with all meals (except breakfast, if breakfast occurred before 8 am), foie gras at least three times weakly, butter-based sauces, and crusty bread. In another arm, an urban French population was given a “typical American” diet, including, but not limited to, at least one meal of fast food daily, four servings of soda-pop, and other specialty foods, such as Philly cheese steaks, Chicago hot dogs, and Detroit coney islands.

According to Dr. Etienne D’Estang, who headed up the French arm of the study, “Perhaps ‘les sanglots longs des violons de l’automne blessent mon coeur,’ but butter doesn’t.”

The investigators concluded:

While our results are by no means conclusive, it appears that a typical French diet, which includes red wine, foie gras, and butter, can improve the health of populations unaccustomed to such habits. Our study did not reveal the reason behind this effect, in which Americans who were on the diet gained an average of 21% increase in longevity, but it appears to be a certain je ne sais quoi. On l’autre main, the French population exposed to typical American merde lost an average of 50% longevity.

Ms Patricia Watanabe, for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), decried the results:

The current study in no way should encourage Americans to engage in the cruel production of foie gras. If it means sacrificing a few years of life, well, that’s the price we pay for not torturing our animal brothers and sisters.

Meanwhile, it’s too early to make any definitive conclusions. First would American’s be willing to eat like the French? What effects might this have on other aspects of American life.

Charlie Woltanski, of the American Sausage Makers Local #125 in Chicago said, “I don’t care how good for you that crap is, if it isn’t a good frank or brat made on the south side, forget it.”


Comments

  1. I doubt that most French people have foie gras three times weekly–that stuff is pretty rich and expensive, even close to the source. Nevertheless, sign me up for the French diet! (Where did they find French people who were willing to eat that American crap, anyway? Were they institutionalized? Do we need to worry not just about the force-feeding of geese, but of the force-feeding of humans to complete this study?)

    Pal, my family will drink a toast to you tonight (with a glass of red wine) for bringing this study to our attention!

    Historiann.com

  2. You’re taking Charlie Woltanski’s quote out of context.

  3. Are Poisson d’Avril in season?

  4. Dubhghaill

    Good april fools

  5. Pierce R. Butler

    Most Americans would rather die (young or otherwise) than eat les escargots!

  6. Happy April Fool’s Day, Pal!

  7. There are extremely good reasons to not eat fois gras. It has been demonstrated that fois gras contains substantial amyloid, and that this amyloid does nucleate the deposition of amyloid when injected into the brains of susceptible animals. Lest you think this is a joke.

    http://www.pnas.org/cgi/content/full/104/26/10998

    I actually think the “French paradox” is due to bathing practices and increased NO from a biofilm of autotrophic ammonia oxidizing bacteria.

  8. Valhar2000

    So PETA hates foie gras? I’ll say! That’s an excellent endorsement for foie gras!

  9. Look, my brother is many things, but an overfed French goose is not one of them.

  10. Jean-Pierre

    I loved this Poisson d?avril. As a Frenchman who lived on both sides of the pond, I can tell you that quite a few French people could learn a few things from some American friends of mine ? as far as cooking is concerned, I mean. And no, an average French family does not have foie gras twice a week. Maybe twice a year on festive occasions such as New Year?s Eve. A bit more often at my home since my wife is from the foie gras region in the South-West of France. But here is not the main point of my call. The lady from PETA has obviously never visited a foie gras producing farm. Did she ever wonder why foie gras is only produced from geese and ducks? Because they are migrating birds. And migrating birds must eat as much as they can to store energy before they start on a long journey that might include crossing seas and deserts. Geese and ducks and other migrating birds have a natural tendency to over-eat. Foie gras producers are simply exploiting this atavistic characteristic. And for the PNAS study cited, I can only add this: the highest life expectation figures we have in France are from the Southwestern region, the foie gras producing region!

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