Mike Adams Crank Magnetism – now it’s the Secret!

As if I needed more evidence for the phenomenon of crank magnetism, Mike Adams has a post on the Nutrition behind the Secret.

Apparently, the secret to the Secret is Mike Adams nutritional advice.

Few people really know one of the most important secrets to making “The Secret” work: Establishing the right nutrition and dietary habits that clear your nervous system and allow intention to flow.

In this article, I’ll share some of the best nutritional secrets about The Secret, covering:

1) Foods and substances that interfere with the power of your intention.

2) Foods and substances that enhance the power of your intention.

Ahh yes. Diet advice from a guy who thinks that microwaves nuke nutrients and denies the link between HIV and AIDS (people with HIV need vitamins not HAART!). Let’s see what impossible heights of stupid can be accomplished through the combination of Mike Adams’ paranoid ramblings and the new age crankery that is the Secret.

The power of intention (i.e. the Law of Attraction) only works when you have a clear, healthy nervous system that’s free from distortion. Invoking the power of intention is a lot like broadcasting a message from a radio tower, and your nervous system (brain, spinal cord, nerves, etc.) are the transmission tissues.

A radio tower only works well when it has sufficient electricity, clarity and symmetry. It also can’t be gunked up with interfering signals or overriding disturbances. Your own nervous system is the same: For it to function well, it must be free of distortion and operating at peak performance. The following items greatly interfere with healthy nervous system function and therefore inhibit your power of intention:

Uh oh, he already sounds like Michael Egnor, I wonder if Uncommon Descent will start promoting the Secret next? They both have the same love of idiotic analogies.

So what causes interference with the Secret signals? Red Meat(“You simply can’t be a highly spiritual person if you’re consuming angry cow meats and altered dairy fats!” – really he wrote this), alcohol and drugs, television (“Watching television fills your mind with false messages, clouding your mind with ideas that distort reality and impair your ability to connect with the universe.” – from Adams this is hysterical), processed foods, fragrance products(“These include most shampoos, laundry detergents, dryer sheets, soaps, perfumes, cosmetics, deodorants, skin creams and other similar products.”), processed sugar and aspartame.

Thank Jebus! I’m safe! I use all those things. Phew. I’m safe from the Secret. What does Adams recommend to aid your powers of intention? Raw foods (big surprise), vegetarian foods, personal integrity (bad news for Adams), clean water, microalgae superfoods (they “cleanse” your liver), healthy oils and berries.

He even seems to nod towards mercury crankery:

By the way, the best cleansing products I’ve ever found at available at www.BaselineNutritionals.com (look for the Liver Tincture and the cilantro-based anti-mercury tincture).

And then tells us to avoid “vampire people”. People who drain your energy like Goths or something. I might agree with that. Everything else? Not so much.


  1. Graculus

    angry cow

    Coffee -> monitor.

  2. CRM-114

    Huh? Become a dirty vegetarian hippie and you can be picked up on radios hundreds of miles distant? Has Mikey double-checked his fact?

  3. I found a way to increase my energy input!!! I going to pick up this heavy wire…there…now I’m going to find my incoming electricity line…damn spider webs…ok…now Ill make sure Im good and grounded…reaching…and…

  4. No red meat? No processed sugar? Why, Mike Adams sounds exactly like Tappy Tibbons in Requiem for a Dream.

    “Be excited! Be — be excited! Juice by you! Juice by you!”

  5. We got a winner!

  6. To be fair, if you eat angry cows a lot, you stand a pretty good risk of attracting Creutzfeldt-Jakob, so it’s probably a good idea to avoid those.

  7. Obdulantist

    “microwaves nuke nutrients”

    I had frustrating evening back in uni (way back), trying to explain the difference between nuclear and electromagnetic radiation to an otherwise highly intelligent and competent English Lit. major. He thought you had to wait a minute after microwave had stopped to “let the radioactive particles dissipate”. I managed to get across the basics of the difference and am not particularly blaming him, at least he was genuinely prepared to listen and try to understand, but I do blame the poor state of science education in schools.

  8. Eep, that’s a pretty bad misunderstanding.

    I spent a summer at Fermilab in college working around the Tevatron – which actually can make things radioactive. We were at the neutrino part of the beam, so no big deal, but yes, big difference between nuclear reactors or particle accelerators, and a microwave/X-ray/Gamma irradiators.

  9. With you and Orac posting so much on this moron, I wonder how long it is before he notices and responds? That’s going to be hilarious when it happens.

  10. Viscount

    So the Secret doesn’t work if you aren’t eating the right food! One more appropriately vague condition under which the Law Of Attraction ™, which of course is a universal law and works every time without fail, fails.

    Although according to The Secret you can pretty much do anything if you believe it will happen, so I have to wonder if eating the wrong food only hurts your powers of secretitude if you believe it will. I think there’s even a whole chapter on how to gorge yourself on fatty foods and not gain weight, so why can’t you eat red meat and not have it clog up your attraction antenna as long as you think positively?

  11. Viscount, your dancing near the edge of the cliff there. Don’t try to engage your logic circuits with these people. It’s safer to point and laugh. If you try to decode it, you might pull a neuron and not be able to think for a week.

  12. Viscount

    Good point. I’m already getting a bit of a headache and don’t want to end up like the guy in Scanners, so back to point-and-laugh mode I guess.

    Also, you missed the best part!

    The secret to my productivity and ability to manifest those things is simply that I’m wholly committed to treating my body and mind as sacred entities. I do not allow myself to be polluted with television, pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, energy vampire people (like friends who drain away all your energy) or processed foods.

    Weak points of The Secret: burgers, TV, vampires.

  13. Oh no. It’s there. I thought maybe he was talking about goths. I find them draining, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to hear.

  14. Adrienne

    I’ve been reading that site, alternating between anger and hilarity.

    He’s also a conspiracy theorist when it comes to 9/11…but only with the building that collapsed without being hit by the planes. So I guess the Government/Mossad/Bad Guys were just waiting for another big distraction to come along in NYC so they could then blow up another building? Weird.

    He also talks about how super duper intelligent he is thanks to his special natural lifestyle:

    “You see, when you reform your physical health, you’re revitalizing your entire nervous system, too. Your brain gets clarity. You find yourself learning very rapidly. Your perspective on world events expands beyond common experience. You become a superlearning machine.

    After undergoing my own health transformation, I found myself:

    * Photo-reading books at the speed of one page per second
    * Instantly grasping the “big picture” of any concept, including quantum computing, nanotechnology, homeopathy, the politics of medicine, etc.
    * Automatically remembering long numbers (like my credit card numbers for multiple cards)
    * Seeing the world with unprecedented clarity (understanding, for the first time, what’s really going on out there)
    * Gaining new control over my own mind and emotions
    * Learning advanced physical skills (I took up gymnastics training at the age of 34)
    * Mastering new mental skills like the study of foreign languages
    * Greatly accelerating my speed of thinking, writing, and creating new things”

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