The Joys of the Skymall Catalog

I just returned from a wonderful trip to Turkey and London, and the flight gave me the opportunity to spend hours with one of my favorite diversions, the Skymall Catalog. Admit it! You look at this thing full of wonders, and wonder who in the world buys them!

i-49c0612e28d87b7ed4ef2006815eece3-bogus.jpgCheck out this whopper: the “Aculife Therapist Deluxe.” For a mere $179.95 you can “Help strengthen your health with the latest ancient technology.” Yes, the latest ancient technology!

It continues: “Otzi, a 5,000 year old mummy found in the Alps during 1991, has spurred a whole new vigor into modern research of the Ancient Chinese medical practice of acupuncture. Recent examinations of the mummy found that Otzi has a number of tattoos that coincide with acupuncture points that would be used to treat various ailments from which he was suffering.” And Otzi was really sick! Looks like he needed help with “livers,” coffee-ground vomitus, and gynecological problems.

So, what does this thing do? It, “send[s] a signal to the operator when a qi point that needed stimulation was touched and (2) could be switched to another setting that would pass a light electrical pulse into the point that required stimulation.”

Brilliant! Sign me up.