Balance your energy for only $1 a minute!

I am not pleased. I am not pleased at all. Of course, hospitals need to make money, and in my part of the country, that’s getting damned hard. More and more people are jobless, without insurance, and broke. Hospitals are focusing more on customer service—and that includes providing what the customer wants whether or not there is any evidence to support it. Orac maintains a database of such atrocities occurrences. This is from a table card at a large, local hospital.

ENERGY BALANCING
FOR PATIENTS

Energy Work is a calming technique
in which the body’s energy field is
eased into relaxation.

$1 per minute (15 minutes=$15)

For an appointment call
Integrative Medicine at (redacted)

This service can be billed to your room.

Arghh!!! Here we are, well into the evidence-based revolution, and a hospital is offering the Reiki-equivalent of a 900 number. I wonder if they also try to drag it out. I can just see what’s going to happen when I come in with my next kidney stone:

Pal: How is my energy field doing?

Obi Wan: I can’t tell yet. You must continue.

Pal: How are you measuring the effect?

Obi Wan: I’m trained. You must continue.

Pal: Are you done yet?

Obi Wan (checking watch): I should be finished in another 45 seconds. You must continue.

Pal: Is this really gonna cost me 10 dollars?

Obi Wan: No. We’re up to $15. Tip isn’t included.

I really, really hope my patients aren’t being offered this service. It seems to me that if anyone is claiming that this treatment has an effect, there must be a doctor’s order for it. And this doctor ain’t ordering any.