Bill Nelson Wins the Internet

I agree with our buddy Ben Goldacre when he says Bill Nelson wins the internet. I can not begin to describe the hilarity of this video but first a bit of background.

Bill Nelson is a quack who’s been running a Rife-machine scam. That is, for many thousands of dollars you can purchase and use his quantum-mechanical machine (read box with blinking lights) to destroy whatever ails you. Fortunately, the FDA has banned its sale in the US, and made this guy:

Bill Nelson (yes that’s him) a fugitive who has since fled our country. Unfortunately, other countries, including poor Ben’s, have been less successful in prosecuting this guy for the fraud that he is.

This bizarre conflation of a total egomaniac, governmental “persecution” and an excess of ill-begotten funds has resulted in what I agree might be the most bizarre video on the internets. You’re welcome to suggest alternatives but I might be partial since it’s made by this crank. Check it, it’s his story, narrated himself sung to the tune of “Simple Gifts”.

Thank you Ben for bringing this to our attention, and thank your deity of choice for the FDA for keeping this guy’s nonsense out of our country.


  1. Yes we know the woo is just a cheap Rife scam, but the video! The video! My god it’s just too bizarre.

  2. I peed a little here.

  3. My “this song will be ruined forever”-meter started going off, so I had to stop watching 😉

  4. Whhhaaaaaaaattttttt?!?!?!?!?!?
    That’s the only response I can muster.

  5. evidently, synthetics are all wrong. >.<

  6. Tsu Dho Nimh

    If synthetics are all wrong, why is he wearing polyester? And using peroxide?

  7. I think my favorite part of that video is the strippers in the background. They seem very relevant to the cause.

    Of course, now I have to find a drill to get that earworm out of my head.

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