Internet Roundup

Here’s what I’m reading this morning.

An Orangutan stole a womans pants in Malaysia. That’s got to be embarrassing, but at the very least, you’d have a story to tell people for the rest of your life that is sure to entertain.

Congress, having solved all other problems is looking into the language of hip-hop. Someone needs to find the youtube of this testimony.

But rapper and record producer Levell Crump, known as David Banner, was defiant as lawmakers pressed him on his use of offensive language. ”I’m like Stephen King: horror music is what I do,” he said in testimony laced with swear words. ”Change the situation in my neighborhood and maybe I’ll get better,” he told one member of Congress.

Swallowing the Camel lists the worlds weirdest/stupidest conspiracies, however manages to leave out “a cruise missile hit the Pentagon”. The troofers, of course, make an appearance and immediately churn out the usual debunked nonsense.

Super-crank Ahmadinejad apparently thinks Iran has no homosexuals. I don’t think there is any type of crankery this moron would not embrace (including 9/11 troof), so I can’t admit to any surprise.

Christopher Monckton, famous global warming denialist, apparently told a lie about why he had to sell his house. Once again, not surprised.

From the comments, someone points out they finally fired the vegan proselytizing teacher. He apparently wouldn’t return to work until everyone in the world converted to his lifestyle. I’m sure it was a hard choice for the school district.

Finally, one last piece of crank news, Paul Cameron has announced the formation of a new crank journal to study human sexuality. I can guess what its first article will say. Something like “teh gay kills”. One more crank source to track, no big deal.

Any other good crank news?


Comments

  1. G Barnett

    It always gets me, these rabid vegans who think that going totally veggie will be nothing but good for the poor, poor animals we’re eating.

    Do they not realize just what would happen to all the animals currently bred for meat if the whole country were to eventually go veggie? I mean, they’d have changed from being profitable to keep around to being a serious drain on resources. The mass slaughter of cattle, pigs, chickens, turkeys, etc would be mind-boggling. Maybe a few would be kept around so we can keep feeding our cats & dogs, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

    The idiot seems to actually be working towards the virtual extinction of all of our domesticated food animals, only he doesn’t even realize it.

    As for me, I’ll keep doin’ my part to ensure their continued survival. Pass the ketchup!

  2. minimalist

    I think they actually imagine majestic, wild herds of Holsteins once again thundering freely through the russet valleys of the Old West. And graceful flocks of chickens filling the skies, delighting children with their plumage and delicate birdsongs.

    Of course, inevitably what happens when some ALF-type group “liberates” lab rats and such is that the animals, unused to living in the wild, promptly die horribly in numerous ways.

  3. I love the conspiracies.

    The Beatles were designed and sent to the U.S. by the British Psychological Warfare Division, to undermine the morals of American teenagers.

    It all makes sense now. I’ve been wondering for these last three years in Liverpool what all these odd looking people in suits with dodgy looks were doing, they must be the psychological warfare division. Who knew? They’re probably based in that ‘closed down’ Beatles related shop front on Penny Lane.

    After all, we all know the only think that keeps America going is the morals of it’s teenagers. American teenagers are most definetley THE most important people in the world.

  4. I worked in a behavioral lab for gerbils back in college, and man, they had a sweet life. Their weight was monitored every day, and we’d have to check up on their attitude (i.e. if they seemed agitated or depressed, which you can kinda tell by their fur and whether they struggle when you pick them up to weigh them). One of them was clearly depressed, so we were all under strict instructions to play with him more and give him more sunflower seeds at feeding time.

    I kinda imagine ALF groups coming into these labs, and the gerbils saying “do you mind? we were watching Seinfeld.”

  5. I was channel surfing the other day, and stumbled upon the movie “Who Killed the Electric Car.” It seemed to be filled with denialism and conspiracy theories. You could take a look at it and see if the conspiracies fans are correct (for once).

  6. Some animal rights activists have thought through the consequences of ending consumption of domesticated animals and want them to go extinct. The argue that breeding the animals into their current domesticated form was cruel to start with and we should end this millennia long crime once and for all. I’ll give them points for a certain weird consistency in their principles, but that’s all I’ll give them.

  7. This one kinda makes sense if you think about it
    # Christ and his disciples were a magic-mushroom cult. (Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John Allegro)

  8. From the Monckton story: ‘They said, ‘Don’t you mind being made to look an absolute prat’, and I said, ‘No – I’m quite used to that’.”

    That’s a keeper.

  9. It always gets me, these rabid vegans who think that going totally veggie will be nothing but good for the poor, poor animals we’re eating.

    Do they not realize just what would happen to all the animals currently bred for meat if the whole country were to eventually go veggie? I mean, they’d have changed from being profitable to keep around to being a serious drain on resources. The mass slaughter of cattle, pigs, chickens, turkeys, etc would be mind-boggling. Maybe a few would be kept around so we can keep feeding our cats & dogs, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

    Posted by: G Barnett | September 26, 2007 9:32 AM

    All of our meat eating animal friends, once they realize how cruel they have been will also become vegan. There will come a time will not only will the lion lie with the lamb, they will work together to tend gardens. It will be just like a scene in The Watchtower. Love will be all around.
    LA-LA-LA!

  10. “Super-crank Ahmadinejad apparently thinks Iran has no homosexuals. I don’t think there is any type of crankery this moron would not embrace (including 9/11 troof), so I can’t admit to any surprise.”

    ‘Super-crank’ Ahadinejad isn’t very different from the cromagnon American religious right and the Israeli Jewish fundamentalist whackjobs when it comes to homosexulaity so why all the whining? He also scores about the same on the humanitarian scale as Israel’s number two man, the nutcase Lieberman, who proposed drowning Palestinian prisoners in the dead sea.

    http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/pages/ShArt.jhtml?itemNo=315541

    I think the US and Iran shold try to get along. After all, they have a lot in common – both are into executing minors, huge prison populations, supressing habeas corpus, torture, spying on their citizens, etc…

  11. Kent Kauffman

    I was arrested for coughing. I know it was rude, not covering my hand and all, but some times you just gotta cough. I just don’t think getting tossed into the side of a police car and arrested for assaulting a police officer are appropriate reactions.

    I guess those civil liberties aren’t for my generation.

  12. Kent Kauffman

    I actually did cover my hand, it was my mouth I should have covered. Time to go to bed before I get arrested for trying to incite a riot by typo.

  13. From the Monckton story: ‘They said, ‘Don’t you mind being made to look an absolute prat’, and I said, ‘No – I’m quite used to that’.”

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